• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
ChurchPlants

ChurchPlants

Looking to plant a church? Find free ideas on how to get started, church planting tips, and establish a strong healthy church. Browse now!

  • Teams
  • Growth
  • Leadership
  • Strategy
  • Finances
  • Free Downloads
You are here: Home / How To's / 5 Easy Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

5 Easy Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

November 26, 2013 by Justin & Trisha Davis How To's

One of the ways God has allowed us to use our story is in helping people avoid some of the choices and some of the behavior patterns we’ve had in our marriage. I’m asked several times a week, “What can I do to make sure myself or my spouse doesn’t have an affair.” So today, we wanted to share five things that will protect your heart, mind and marriage.

1. Pursue God

I’ve never talked to anyone who has cheated on their spouse who has told me that their relationship with God was healthy when they had an affair. The truth is that your marriage will not be perfect. You will have problems.

You will face temptation. But if you are pursuing God, His Word, His truth, and allowing Him to form you and shape you, that is the best thing you can do to affair-proof your marriage.

2. Pursue Your Spouse

It is hard to fall out of love with someone you are pursuing. It is difficult to lose interest in someone that you are prioritizing. Other people don’t look so attractive when you are setting aside time to pursue and date your spouse.

Most couples lose interest in one another because they fail to spend time with one another. Sitting next to each other at your kid’s soccer game or a band concert doesn’t count. Date your spouse. Buy her flowers. Put perfume on before he gets home from work. Talk. Laugh. Pursue.

3. Don’t Fantasize About Someone Else

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I never thought about that, it just happened.” All sin starts in our mind. The Bible calls it temptation. Temptation is normal. Temptation is common. Temptation is something that you are guaranteed to face. Jesus experienced temptation.

Temptation becomes sinful when it moves to fantasy. When you begin to fantasize about someone other than your spouse, you have already broken intimacy in your heart and mind with your husband or wife. It is why the Bible says to guard our hearts. Affairs always start in our mind.

4. Share Your Secrets

Every time we withhold truth from our spouse, we create distance in our marriage. Oneness is how the Bible describes our marriage relationship. Secrets have no part of oneness. Secrets break oneness. The word intimacy means “to be fully known.” When we don’t allow our spouse to fully know us, we compromise intimacy.

I am not saying that keeping secrets from your spouse will cause you to have an affair. I am saying that not keeping secrets from your spouse will prevent you from having an affair. It is hard to for sin to grow in light. It is hard for deceit to grow in the context of authentic truth.

5. Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a gift from God. It will not solve all of your marriage problems. But if you are committed to pursuing God, pursuing your spouse, keeping your mind and heart pure, sexual intimacy will strengthen the oneness in your relationship like nothing else can.

Our culture uses sex to sell for a reason … it is a powerful force in our lives. It can and should be a powerful force in our marriages as well.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter

About Justin & Trisha Davis

Justin and Trisha Davis returned to ministry in 2009 following a four year journey of restoration. They use their story of pain, loss and redemption to bring hope and healing to couples all over the country.

« Previous Post
Next Post »

Primary Sidebar

Church Planting Jobs

Search Here

Christian News Now

Enter your email for tips on how to have a thriving church!

Footer

Company

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Service
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • Get Email Updates
  • Christian News Now

Copyright © 2025 ChurchPlants

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Service