Ministry is not a marathon; it’s periods of sometimes sprints, sometimes walks and sometimes jogs (and maybe even sometimes crawls) punctuated by strategic times of rest and renewal. This is how God designed our lives to rotate—within a cyclical pattern of being awake and active and then asleep and motionless. Going to bed every night is a consistent reminder of the fact that we simply cannot keep going and going without stopping and resting. This is how God created it to be, how Jesus proved it needed to be and ultimately how we grow stronger, stay healthier and sustain in ministry for the long-haul—not by running ourselves so ragged that exhaustion and burnout become marks of “nobility” and “honor” and true “sacrifice.” That’s just not sustainable, nor is it helpful for anyone we are working with in ministry or working for in ministry. Everyone loses when we don’t stop, rest and renew. Everyone wins when we do—most notably, us.
REFRAMING OUR RESTING
Resting is not synonymous with quitting. It’s also not a sign that you’re failing; and it definitely doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring. It actually means you care enough to not believe the whole thing is dependent upon whether or not you’re around all the time. We simply have to learn how to reframe our rest in those terms. And on the issue of what other people might say or think about you when they see you take a break? Who. Cares. They’re actually probably envious of the fact that you’ve developed the good discipline of rest and they have yet to find that allusive balance in their own tired and weary lives. They’re not judging you; they’re admiring you…and learning from you.
Foster parents, or anyone engaged in ministry for that matter: sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a break—and not feel guilty about it. But how can I possibly take a break when the need is so overwhelming and the work is so demanding? you might ask, These kids need me! you might say. To that I ask a different question—How could you possibly not take a break when the need is so overwhelming and the work is so demanding? You simply can’t survive this for the long-haul without stopping and resting every once in a while. And you’re right—these kids do need you—they need you healthy and whole, because you can’t pour into them what you don’t have in yourself. In the immediate it might mean being militaristic about taking date nights, spending consistent evenings out with friends or finding something non-foster care related that feeds and refreshes your soul, nourishes your body and fills your heart. In the long term it likely means there will be seasons when the most important thing you can do is strategically withdraw and say “no”—not “no forever,” but maybe just “no, not right now” for a little while so that you can rest, renew and be reminded in a fresh way of why you’re doing what you’re doing. That’s where my wife and I are right now—keeping ourselves available for an on-going situation continually unfolding around us—but also saying “no, not right now” to bringing more children into our home. And at least for now, we’re OK with that.
Ministry Isn’t a Marathon – So What to Do?
If all of this is true—what Jesus modeled in His life and what research shows is important in ours—then here are some questions you might consider asking and honestly answering for yourself as you work to establish principles of rest and renewal in your life:
- How’s your health? How’s your mind? How’s your soul?
- What “patterned and ritualed” practices of rest and renewal do you currently have in your life? If none, what needs to change in order to begin establishing those?
- Are those changes external (i.e., creating more margin of time in your schedule, finding good babysitters, establishing your “quiet place” in your house that’s just for you, etc.) or are they more internal (i.e., feelings of guilt for resting, a subtle pride for thinking you always need to be around, fear of what others might think of you, etc.)?
- Are you honestly in a season right now where you know a break is needed, but you’re refusing to allow it? Why?
- What activities, practices or disciplines help “restore” you? What do you love to do that you haven’t done in a long time? Art, exercise, travel, reading, etc.? What needs to change in order to allow yourself more time and permission to engage in those things?
- What’s the next, best and most simple step you can take to start establishing the discipline of strategic withdrawal in your life?
Ministry isn’t a marathon, and sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a break—for 30 minutes today, or perhaps a couple months between your current placement and the next. And that’s OK.
Now, go by yourself “to a quiet place…and get some rest.”
