3. Be Quick to Hear.
Deal with the conflict quickly. It is awkward to address it later and it seems Satan puts a wedge deeper between friends with every passing hour a conflict is left to simmer. Letting the sun go down on our anger gives the devil an opportunity to gain an advantageous position in our relationships that creates bitterness (Eph. 4:26-27).
4. Avoid Texts and E-Mail Responses.
The offended or offending party needs to hear the tone of your voice. I responded to Dave by saying that I had forgiven him and that comments taken out of context and without the associated compassion and my personal grief for the outcome of the offense are rarely understood rightly in digital format.
5. Acknowledge Your Role in the Conflict.
One person can stir up trouble in a family, a church or a relationship but they often drudge up other’s ancillary actions and words to deflect their own sin. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. Sinful people blame-shift. Nevertheless, be quick to acknowledge your role in the conflict even though it rarely justifies their sinful actions. It never benefits to hide our weaknesses and our indifference toward others.
I find Paul’s admonition in Col. 3:12-14 to be counterintuitive when dealing with angry people. I have to exercise faith in the Gospel and not in my anger to “produce the righteousness of God.”
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (ESV).
