“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). And on the other hand, “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls” (Proverbs 25:28). Christian self-control is a mighty good thing to have. And as rare as Spanish doubloons in the Sunday offering.
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). So, the much-desired quality of Christian self-control is found among the nine traits making up the “fruit of the Spirit,” which is also a pretty solid description of Christlikeness.
The ability to master one’s own spirit is not as recognizable as its opposite, the failure or inability to control one’s inner self. That trait–a spirit out of control–is quickly on full display whenever its owner is offended, attacked, questioned, called to account for something he/she has done, or otherwise challenged. The uncontrolled spirit has no defenses against temptation, no muscles for hard tasks, and no patience with difficult people. “Love one’s enemies”? (Luke 6:27) The uncontrolled spirit has difficulty loving its own friends and thus nothing in reserve for its opponents.
Christian Self-Control
The angry motorist determined to set another driver straight cannot control his own spirit. The disgruntled employee who returns with a gun to settle accounts cannot control his own spirit. The gossip who simply cannot resist the urge to pass along the juicy morsel about someone cannot control their spirit.
The list is endless. And so depressing.
So, let’s take the positive approach! Here, straight out of the wonderful book of Proverbs, are ten traits of the person in control of his/her own spirit.
Ten Traits of One in Control
One. You can take chastening from the Lord and appreciate discipline when you have it coming.
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; for whom the Lord loves, He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:11-12).
Ask any employer. Having to deal with an employee who is doing wrong but cannot take criticism well is one of his/her hardest jobs. That’s why Proverbs makes so much of the ability to take correction.
Two. You do not take offense easily. You are hard to offend.
“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11). “Love…is not provoked” (I Corinthians 13:5).
“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive (“short of spirit” literally) exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29). This is the description of a person strong in self esteem, certain of their mission, and settled in their inner spirit. It’s how we want to be. (Want to see that very description of our Lord? Look at the first four verses of John 13. This is what gave Jesus the strength and humility to wash the feet of the disciples.)
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Three. You can receive criticism without feeling you have to defend yourself.
“Rebuke a wise man and he will love you” (Proverbs 9:8). “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent” (Proverbs 15:5). And, “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows for a fool” (Proverbs17:10).
I have yet to meet the man who enjoys being criticized. And yet, it’s a constant in any life. There is no position worth having in this world where criticism is not a fact of daily existence. So, anyone who intends to do something of value in his lifetime would do well to master the art of receiving criticism without feeling the need to defend. Even if you say “I was only responding to the points he made,” to many it will appear you are defending yourself. (And yet, there are times when we must explain and even defend. Pray for wisdom.)
