How to Be a Church-Planting Wife

Christine Hoover offers practical advice for all church-planting wives.

How to meet people where you’re planting:

  • Meet every single one of your neighbors.
  • Hang out at playgrounds with your kids and strike up conversations with other moms.
  • Join a book club or the PTO.
  • Talk to your waiters.
  • Shop at the same places on the same days at the same times.
  • Go where the people of your city congregate with the intent to engage people.
  • Start a neighborhood playgroup.
  • Join a community sports league.
  • Get involved at your child’s school.

How to best support your husband during the first year of planting:

  • Think of things to talk about other than the church.
  • Tell him specific ways you see God using him.
  • Take your frustrations about church planting to the Lord before you take things to your husband.
  • Maintain consistent time in the Word. Depend on the Lord to meet the needs only He can meet.
  • Celebrate small victories.
  • Don’t tell him what to do or how to do it.
  • Get involved in the process. Support his calling.
  • Be flexible.

How to figure out your role in all this craziness:

  • Always remember that, no matter what you do for the church, your most important roles are disciple, wife and mom.
  • Give it time (like, years) to definitively narrow down your ministry role.
  • Accept that, in church planting, you will be a generalist for a long time before becoming a specialist.
  • Know your role will change with each year and stage of church planting.
  • Ask your husband for feedback on how God often chooses to use you.
  • Be on guard against spiritual attack, specifically discouragement and emotional struggles.

How to maintain your sanity in church planting:

  • Maintain consistent time in the Word.
  • Once you know someone well enough to babysit your kids, do whatever it takes to establish and keep a consistent date night with your husband.
  • Don’t be afraid to take time off to catch your breath or get some perspective.
  • Establish relationships in the community. Maintain perspective on why you’re doing what you’re doing.
  • Make time to do something that interests you.
  • Don’t be afraid to pursue counseling or ask for help.
  • If possible, find a mentor.
  • Don’t say yes to every ministry opportunity presented to you.
  • Structure your life well.
  • Have open and beneficially honest dialogue with your husband about how you’re doing and how his job affects you.
Christine Hoover
Christine is a popular blogger and ministry partner to her husband, Kyle. Together they planted Charlottesville Community Church in Charlottesville, Virginia. The church seeks to reach out to University of Virginia students, young professionals, and growing families. She is also the author of "The Church Planting Wife" (Moody, February 2013)