Regarding this God-ordained arrangement, one church member recently wrote to me, “They won’t be OK with my sin, but they’ll still love me and help me confess to others and ask for forgiveness and help me to mourn over my sin. And I know they’ll help me in taking practical steps in fighting lust.”
Due to our commitment to one another, we cannot run from each other when things get tough and sin is exposed. Our proximity and regular interactions force us to deal with sin (Phil 4:21) or to grow weary in pretending. And when grace is regularly exercised, this “creates a baseline of trust,” as one of my church members put it. Christians can sense the dangers their brothers and sisters are in when they avoid other members.
As a pastor, you must continually repeat these things to your church family so that they eventually take root and bear fruit.
Step 2: Cultivate Your Church as a Safe Space
Pastors can strengthen a culture of confession and restoration by praying, preaching, overseeing, equipping and modeling mature Christianity.
Pray for and preach the corporate responsibility of burden-bearing and burden-sharing.
One member told me that it is easier to confess at our church because there is “a collective habit where majority of the church members confess specific sins to one another.” If, on the other hand, “the majority refrain from sharing their own sin, it reinforces that sin should be hidden.” But “when more people share, it sets a precedent for more timid people to be freed from the shame of hiding and enables them to confess sin, seek support and receive help.”
Pastor, pray for your church to grow in the practice of confessing sin for help in sanctification. When you preach, apply the text to the church as a body, not just to individual Christians. Encourage them to help each other bear the burdens the text addresses. Ask hard questions in the sermon so that people learn how.
Oversee structures and other church practices that strengthen safety in confession.
As a pastor, I make sure that every Sunday we have a corporate prayer of confession where sins are pointedly, concretely and specifically confessed: “Lord, we confess that, just this past week, we let our eyes take a second look at the person on the street. We let our minds stray to someone else’s spouse…” We also renew our church covenant every first Sunday of the month before we take communion. In our membership class, we teach on the corporate and personal responsibilities for every member. And when I interview a member who desires to join our church, I ask questions about some temptations. I also make sure our small group structures encourage confession and accountability.
All of this clarifies the expectation that our church cares about the sin and temptations that wage war against our members’ souls (1 Peter 2:11).
Equip members to confess, ask and apply the gospel to each other.
Teach church members how and why to confess sin—because sin is always present and it wants to destroy us. Tell them to face this reality squarely by openly yet discreetly addressing necessary issues that many find taboo.
Teach them to ask hard questions. I’ve passed around Randy Alcorn’s article on accountability groups and have sent it to all our members.
Equip your members to hear someone’s confession, and to respond in a way that helps the confessor feel biblical conviction, remember Jesus and ask for forgiveness. Equip your members to communicate the kindness of God in the gospel because it’s God’s kindness and not our guilt-tripping or shaming that leads to transformative repentance (Rom 2:4).
Train your people not to define a fellow church member by their singular sin. Christ Jesus defines them as the family of God, a saint in Christ and the temple of the Holy Spirit.
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Model the Christian’s need.
Christians naturally follow their leaders. Do you feel your need for your church family? Do you feel the need to confess your sins and repent in the midst of your relationships with fellow church members? Do you believe this is best not only for them, but also for you? Do you believe you encourage church members to find strength in Jesus and not in you as the perfect pastor? Do you see yourself first as a Christian in need of accountability and discipleship, or as a pastor helping others to do these things? Do you preach what you do not practice?
Pastor, do you feel like your church is a safe space to confess your own sins? Do you trust your church family for your own growth by being wisely vulnerable? You should.
Do you ever model your own need for Christ? If not, you won’t effectively convince others to trust the body that you yourself don’t trust. Your example of fear will undermine your teaching. Your church will feel a further disconnect between ideal and practice. And your people will continue to hide and look elsewhere for relief from shame and guilt.
But if you do model your need for Christ, you’ll lead and disciple people to confess their sins. And by God’s grace, over time, your church will become an actual safe space—protecting saints from unrepentant sin and unnecessary shame—and your people will make progress in killing their sin (Rom 8:12–13).
Safe churches are led by safe pastors.
This article originally appeared at 9Marks.
