You are qualified because God thinks so, not because you think so.
Feelings of insecurity will arise because you will be tempted to compare yourself with other pastors’ wives or women in the church who you feel are more prominent than you. The enemy will then come in and latch on to these insecurities and turn them into lies. At times, you will feel you are not an adequate “pastor’s wife” because you are not as helpful to your husband (in the church aspect) as other women who serve the church. Stand on the truth of the Word in those moments. Your identity comes through being a daughter of Christ, recognizing it is only by His grace you are saved. Any good you are able to do as a wife, mother and church member is to bring Him glory. Any other motives are just another reason to run to the cross and continue on in thankfulness for the grace you are afforded. God may very well use our weaknesses to display His glory all the brighter. Praise God that recognizing our weaknesses is not in vain! Your identity should not coincide with being the church secretary or hospitality team leader. If you can do those things at no expense to your spiritual growth, husband, home and family, and not cling to them for importance, then prayerfully consider doing them, but if those things are your lifeline and make you feel adequate, those things need to be reevaluated. Our role, whether in the church or in the home, does not define us; Christ defines us. In our new identity in Christ, we are covered in His blood and spotless, looked upon with delight by our Heavenly Father toward His daughter.
You should be a source, not a drain.
You have the opportunity to offer comfort to your husband in a way no one else can. They need us to be a source of comfort and respect, not a drain on their physical, emotional and spiritual capacity. I had no clue that as my husband was shepherding me and the rest of our church, I would be the one safe place he would come to receive comfort, encouragement and shepherding, essentially “pastoring” him through the ins and outs of everyday ministry, as one who knows him and will always be by his side. Many other people in his life will be telling him areas he needs to improve, ways he can shepherd better, and some may be critical of him. Will you be an additional burden in your husband’s life he has to bear, or can you be the one person who is a source and replenishment to his mind, soul and body?
