How You Can Start Today on Improving Your Marriage

Leader, your marriage needs to be your top priority—above your church, your ministry and even your dreams.

When I got married, I just assumed that love would compensate for a lot. I loved Trish, so I could put our marriage on autopilot and be OK.

We love each other, so date nights can be optional.

We love each other, so working 80 hours a week will be OK.

We love each other, so she knows how sorry I am for losing my temper.

We love each other, so not doing most of the things that caused us to want to be married in the first place will be fine.

Most marriages don’t crash and burn all at once. Most count on their stated love for one another to compensate for a slow drift away from loving choices.

What we’ve learned is that most average marriages are only a few intentional choices away from becoming great.

The problem is that most of us don’t make intentional choices, we just have good intentions.

It’s not that we don’t have the desire for our marriage to change, it’s just that we don’t make the commitment to the change we desire. 

Lasting change in our marriage starts with allowing God to change our hearts. Only you can choose that.

Your spouse can’t choose that for you, and most importantly, you can’t choose that for your spouse. All you can pray is, “God change me.” That is a prayer God loves to answer.

So, assuming that heart change is mutually pursued, here are a few small, intentional steps you can choose that will make a huge difference in your marriage.

1. Pray for your wife before you go to bed.

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2. Write a love note and put it somewhere your husband will find it.

3. Go out on a date this Saturday without the kids.

4. Pray for your husband and text him and tell him you’re praying for him.

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Justin & Trisha Davis
Justin and Trisha Davis returned to ministry in 2009 following a four year journey of restoration. They use their story of pain, loss and redemption to bring hope and healing to couples all over the country.