Your Husband Wants to Plant but You’re Not So Sure

Key questions for both husbands and wives discerning God’s call to plant.

Without any clear reasons why, Kyle and I attended an Acts 29 church planting bootcamp in 2007.We went to that bootcamp knowing God wanted change for us, but fully expecting that we would leave able to cross church planting off the list of possibilities.

Honestly, at that time, I didn’t even have a good understanding of what church planting actually entails. Less than a year later, Kyle had resigned his ministry position, we had raised both a team and financial support, we had moved across the country, and we had started the church he now pastors.

This is why: Because, through that bootcamp, I knew God was calling us to plant a church.

This is how I knew: When the speakers, all experienced church planters, described the kind of man God uses to do this work, they described my husband.

Church planting, they said, is a difficult and unique work. Similar to pastoring an existing church, it must be done by a qualified elder—able to teach, able to shepherd, able to lead, above reproach, respectable, hospitable. Too, it requires a competent elder able to fulfill the duties of leadership—prayer and Scripture study, leading and managing the church, caring for people, living an exemplary life, preaching and teaching correctly, working hard, rightly using money and power, and protecting the church.

But then there is the unique work of church planting. The church planter must have the gifts of apostleship, leadership, evangelism and teaching. He must work tirelessly, serve as the only elder until other elders are appointed, and have the ability to pull the church toward God’s mission with the strength of an ox.

During the bootcamp, Kyle and I stole away for conversation. Clearly, we said, God is speaking to our hearts. My husband questioned whether or not he was a church planter. I saw it instantly. I questioned whether or not I could be a church planting wife. He saw things in me that I couldn’t see.

Full of trepidation and uncertainty, we both affirmed to one another that we were available to God if this is what He wanted for us.

Our bootcamp conversation is what I thought of this week when I received this email:

My husband feels very called to church plant, whereas I have a lot of doubts, fears, and sometimes just don’t want to. I know I should submit to my husband’s leadership, but I also hear that, when church planting, the wife needs to be just as on board.

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Christine Hoover
Christine is a popular blogger and ministry partner to her husband, Kyle. Together they planted Charlottesville Community Church in Charlottesville, Virginia. The church seeks to reach out to University of Virginia students, young professionals, and growing families. She is also the author of "The Church Planting Wife" (Moody, February 2013)