People give all types of reasons for why people don’t go to church. Most of those given mask the real reasons someone becomes a former church member? It’s the same motivations for virtually every other human decision: pain and pleasure.
If you associate church with pain or church with interfering with your pleasure, you probably won’t go. Those are the real reasons people don’t go to church, but they still shouldn’t be what keeps you out. Here’s why.
Two Reasons People Don’t Go to Church
Reason 1: Someone in church hurt you, so you refuse to go back.
Maybe it was last month. Maybe it was last decade. But somebody in a church somewhere hurt you, maybe even deeply.
To those I want to say, as sensitively as I can, join the club. You are not alone in that. Everyone, and I mean everyone, who has ever been part of a church for an extended period of time has been hurt by others there.
My deepest personal wounds as an adult came from church people. I say that to let you know, I understand. It hurts and the easiest way to escape that seems to be to leave church entirely. But it won’t really work.
Christians often speak of the “church family.” It is a way to communicate the bond that should be present among believers in a local church body. It also, inadvertently perhaps, expresses another truth. Church families are like physical families. You are around them so much that you rub each other the wrong way and people get hurt.
If you gave up on anything that brought you pain, your life would be dull, bland, self-absorbed and lonely, while lacking any real adventure, growth, achievement and love.
If, the moment you experienced pain, you surrendered, you would never exercise, never learn anything new, never undergo necessary medical treatment that may hurt, never push yourself past the limits you thought possible, never achieve anything of lasting value, never be a part of a relationship with anyone else, never love or be loved.
You still want to leave and never come back because of some hurt? We can get past that pain and find joy. Everyone you ever see at church has done just that.
See Page Two for the second of reasons people don’t go to church . . .
