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You are here: Home / How To's / How to Break Unhealthy Dependencies

How to Break Unhealthy Dependencies

July 18, 2024 by Charles Stone Articles, How To's, Leadership

unhealthy dependencies
unhealthy dependencies
Adobe Stock #118447841

Good leaders help their followers grow. They keep their followers’ best interests a priority. They invest in their followers. But sometimes we unintentionally hold them back by creating an unhealthy dependencies between follower and leader. How do we do that? We solve their problems by giving them answers instead of fostering insight.

Unhealthy Dependencies

Consider the following scenario.

A staff person who reports to you comes into your office with a problem. She explains the problem. As she explains it, because you’ve had more experience than she, you quickly know the solution. She then asks, “What do you want me to do?”

What should you do in that situation? I see two choices.

Choice 1: You can save time, cut to the chase, and give her the solution. One problem solved: she got the answer she needed. Another problem created: the next time she has a problem, she will probably come to you again for your answer. You have potentially started to create a dependency.

Choice 2: You can take a bit more time and instead of solving her problem, you can coach her through a process so that she discovers the answer for herself. With this choice, the problem gets solved and you avoid creating unhealthy dependencies on you.

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About Charles Stone

Charles Stone is the pastor of West Park Church in Canada. Charles is passionate about the intersection of cognitive neuroscience and Biblical truth. Charles is the author of numerous articles and a handful of books, including Holy Noticing. He and his wife have three adult children and two grandchildren.

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