Predictably welcoming—our household is about welcoming others, not just about one another. A healthy biological family isn’t just introspective. Invitation, hospitality and welcome are all part of what we want to offer to others. There are times for boundaries to say “not right now,” but we want to be predictable in the welcome and grace to anyone that knocks on the door, even if we communicate that we’re not able to spend time with people.
Weekly Rhythms
During the weekdays, we pray together in the morning. We vary the time we pray slightly according to different work times of various people, but our rhythm is to pray every morning together. The fruit of this is that if something comes up in another point in the day, we have a heart to pray for each other, for anything, in any circumstance.
We always eat together—that is an absolute default that we do that.
We always shop together. We have a joint bank account that we all have access to. Each week, we put the menu together and work out who will do the shopping for the week. We try to make this really simple. The bank account is for bills, food, or we’ll buy a gift for someone out of that, or for weekends away. Everyone puts a certain amount in the account and we’ll reduce it if someone’s not earning. We have a baseline that’s common, but different people will put in different amounts, and that will come through conversation together as a family.
One night a week, we have a house night where we take more time together for the evening. Another night a week is our “out” night where we’re all involved in different things, and we often have a rest and chill together on a Friday night.
Monthly, Termly and Annual Rhythms
We have termly time away together, so in the autumn we had an “adventure” weekend, in the spring term we have a retreat weekend, and in the summer we all went to New Wine together.
We have a predictable pattern with birthdays and how we celebrate each other. We make sure we cook our favorite meal, make a fuss of each other and do what they want to do. It’s really important to celebrate one another at birthdays.
We also have predictable patterns for the local kids when they come for their kids’ groups (we’ll return back to this in “missional purpose”).
Families on mission, by definition, have a mission, which means they are reaching for a reality that transcends their own existence. What does your missional purpose look like?
When we arrived in the area, I spent some time reflecting on who the people of peace were. It was obvious that was the kids. So I called us all together to do stuff with them. This has changed slightly now, but this was our starting point. We do shared mission together in the summer holidays. Last summer, we all went to New Wine together, and we took the kids and neighbors with us.
