The local kids come weekly for their kids’ group. They always set the table and clear away—they love being involved in the jobs. We start with the same song of grace before we eat. We also have the sweet jar, which is for thanksgivings. We put the sweet jar in the middle and then put a candle in the middle of the table that represents Jesus. The kids take a sweet and we each say what we’re thankful for, and everyone says something. We make it clear we’re giving thanks to God because he gives us good gifts.
We listen carefully to each thank you. We have a strong rhythm of that together—mess with it at your peril!! When any new kids come, we get the current kids to explain the rhythms and routines. For the kids, this is the highlight of their week—they are really following Jesus. If they do artwork at our house, they want to leave it here because they know it will go up on the wall. One of my favorite testimonies was when I was talking about Jesus, and I said to the kids, “Jesus is a bit amazing,” and one of the kids replied back, “He’s more than a bit amazing … he’s totally amazing!”
Thank you for sharing with us, Diane. I know that you haven’t always found the call to live like this an easy one. Can you tell us what some of the challenges are as you seek to live as, and lead, a family on mission?
We’re not related and that does make a difference. There’s power in biological relationships—they are a God-given gift, and I don’t have that so it can feel quite vulnerable. There is an inherent strength in biological family, and that makes a difference.
With biological family, you’ve had many, many years together. And when you create a nonbiological extended family, it can be more transient; people might move on, and so you don’t get the same sense of stability that you’d get with a biological family—that can be quite tiring.
Also, when we’re not all from the same biological family, we can all come with very different perspectives and starting places because we’ve all been brought up in different families.
We represent four families, and we have a great sense of commitment amongst us to each other’s families. I can’t assume that will happen, but we’re increasingly seeing that we’re relating more to each other’s families. We all have different levels of commitment to our biological families, and so that can bring pressures and tensions when you’ve got so many extra people in your life.
Establishing a family on mission with single people has the same principles as a family on mission based around a nuclear family. It should consist of a Spiritual Parent leading the household, someone who is willing to invest in the members of their household, someone who can set the rhythms of the household. In Diane’s case, this headship role looked more like an “older sibling” role than a parental one.
In turn, the spiritual parent and the household can begin to follow Predictable Patterns of life: eating, praying, shopping and simply doing life together in a way that is predictable and understood by the members of the household. And of course, the household should be united under a Missional Purpose. For Diane and her household this was to serve their people of peace, the local kids.
