3. The ego must be correct and does not accept contradictions.
Most of my “Christian” journey, I thought it was my duty to have the right answers. I studied hard, and when I wasn’t really sure, I made something up.
Now I believe that “something” was my True Self, the Spirit.
In our effort to commercialize Christianity and mass market the eternal message, many American churches have eliminated uncertainty because, quite frankly, it doesn’t sell. It doesn’t sell because it’s both risky and time-consuming.
As I look at Scripture, however, I see a God who is incredibly risky (too risky for our comfort) and painfully patient. It seems God is more vulnerable than powerful and somehow God uses everything (love, death, celebration, suffering) in the larger plan.
Why did slavery happen? How could God allow the Nazis to murder so many Jews? Why are children overcome by cancer and others sold into sex slavery? For the first time, I can honestly answer, “I don’t know.” I find peace the land of unknown. I have faith that somehow, someway God knows.
And death won’t have the final word.
4. The ego hates change above all else.
If you asked the ego to rank its greatest fears, change would take the top spot. When your ego is in charge, you love comfort and the status quo. It should come as no surprise that Jesus’s first sermon is “Repent!” (Mark 1:15 and Matt. 4:17), which means “change your mind.”
The ego hates that message. But it’s difficult to explain away Jesus’s desire for us to change. So, most ego-centric people project the message onto a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend or life’s circumstances. As long as the ego can find someone else to change, it’s off the hook.
Your ego doesn’t want you to grow or change. It doesn’t want you to let go or stretch yourself beyond your current theological understanding. So, rather than accept the radical message of Jesus that essentially says, “You change. You’re the problem, not your spouse, child, or co-workers,” your ego searches for a place that loves the status quo.
I’m convinced the most loving thing your spouse or church can do is patiently challenge you to change or grow.
When you know whose you are, when you’ve uncovered your divine identity, change isn’t threatening. Change is no longer an indictment on a particular generation, race, or leader. It’s an indictment on your ego.
5. The ego minimizes sins of the heart and focuses on sins of the flesh.
Because your ego is formed by external stuff (validation, opinions, job, education), it focuses on eliminating external sins, the ones you can tangibly measure. So, all types of sexual sins (porn addiction, sex before marriage, prostitution, etc.), church attendance, and right theology become the measure of a true Christian.
Jesus seems to address this ridiculous attitude from the beginning (see Matt. 5-7), and somehow I missed it. Jesus knows external sins are shadows of true transformation, and we’re merely reshuffling the deck until we address what’s underneath.
Greed, envy, pride, hatred, prejudice and vanity affect the heart. And, sadly, America not only accepts these sins, but often celebrates them.
6. The ego needs to feel special and it’s reluctant to give others praise or credit.
“It’s just me, myself, and I,” says your ego. Your ego, your flesh, your false self needs to feel separate and special. It needs the spotlight and isn’t afraid to manipulate people, even God, to attract attention. The ego says, “Look what I’ve done. See what I accomplished.” And it’s always looking over its shoulder because it believes attention is a finite resource. Usually not openly, but almost always privately, the ego resents any person who threatens its platform or reputation.
It wasn’t until I lost a job writing full-time that I realized how impure my motives were. The ego can, and often does, stand in place of God’s voice, and you don’t realize this until the “fit hits the shan.” I remember losing this job and wrestling with the reality of pursuing jobs in other fields. I was freaking angry with God. I might have even cursed a few times. Stop judging me.
Your True Self doesn’t attach to accomplishments or titles. You no longer need to be who other’s want you to be. Climbing mountains and ladders no longer seems important either. Even a small taste of this radical shift liberates your heart and mind. This has been my experience, at least.
